All time slacker XI

Some musos aren't into sports. Well that sucks for you. Losers.

Here's my all-time slacker XI. Of course a real football team needs players who can run, tackle and generally be a bit anal. But we're not going to bother with too much of that. Anyway, is Gary Neville really a player we'll remember when we die. Hint: No

My formation is 4-4-2 I mean that's easy.

Goalkeeper:
Kind of hard finding a slacker goalie. Either this or full back is the most loserish position but the ones who take penalties like Rogerio Ceni and Hans Jorg Butt are pretty legendary. http://www.soccer-weblog.com/50226711/why_goalkeepers_shouldnt_take_penalties.php

Jose Luis Chilavert would also make the bench because of the name, the face and the free kicks.

However my man is Rene Higuita. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mbrXnXB4js

Defenders: The problem here is that it's quite difficult to be a slacker and a defender but some have managed it with varying success. Paul Mc Grath partners Phillipe Albert in central defence.

Paul tackles and stuff but looks cool and went on a bender paid for by Man U when Fergie was the manager- way to go.
Phillipe Albert is the best thing to come out of Belgium. Great chip against Man U + zero effort at defending.

Left back is Taribo West- great name, great hair, great on Champ Man, shit in real life- all great qualities.

Right back is Gary Doherty 'The ginger pele'. My mate Dave and my favourite 'defender' of all time. Played for Spurs. Scored a bunch of own goals. Sometimes hung out up front. Proved you can look like a gimp and still be cool. Influenced Weezer and Radiohead. Technically a centre back but this guy can play anywhere.

Defence coach: Kevin Keegan

Midfield:

Defensive mid: Andrea Pirlo might be a little too good for my liking but for a supposedly holding midfielder all he actually does is pass and score free kicks. He has great Italian hair but is otherwise ugly which makes all other nationaities feel better. He probably has a hot wife though.

Midfield Central: Aljosa Asanovic Derby! This guy seldom ran but made up with some cool passing and left foot stuff. A bit like Chris Waddle but foreign and therefore better.

Right Wing: Andrei Arshavin actually plays better in the hole or central mid especially for Russia and when he was younger but I prefer the new Arsenal Andrei. He just stands around and waits to score great goals. He also only really tries at Anfield which is great.

Left Wing: 'Vodka' Vic Kasule It's in the name. You always need a journeyman and VIc was no diferent but his best days were at Albion Rovers in Sunny Scotland, although I bet he did OK in Malta. 'He is often described as extravagantly gifted but ludicrously ill-disciplined.' i.e. better than ronaldo.

Subs: Gazza obviously, Roy keane just for a joke (at his expense).

Forwards: Berbatov and Yeboah. On the bench, Marco Negri and Kanu- game changing.
Yeboah because you can tell he aimed for the underside of the crossbar and was only good at scoring amazing goals. He just whacked it basically. Berbatov is a given- all-time hero. Negri just hung out and scored and looked cool and Kanu would be in if it wasn't for Berba- what a laugh that he scored the winner in the Cup Final!

Forward Coach: Eric Cantona- too good to actually play but a good Beach Football Coach just teach Joga Bonita or whatever.

Manager: Ossie Ardiles Great Player, even better manager.

The Slow Education Lecture 3 'History Lesson Pt.2'

Key Texts:
History Lesson Pt.2, Minutemen, Double Nickels on the Dime, 1984
More Cigarettes, The Replacements, Sorry Ma Forgot To Take Out The Trash, 1981
Exit Only, Fugazi, Steady Diet of Nothing, 1991
Radio Free Europe, REM, Murmur, 1983
Death and the Maiden, The Verlaines, Juvenalia, 1987
The Holiday Song, Pixies, Come on Pilgrim EP, 1987
Wasted (Black Flag Cover), Camper Van Beethoven, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, 1985
Climbing, Meat Puppets, Meat Puppets II, 1983

Recommended Reading:
Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991, Michael Azzerad, 2002
Flying Nun, Heavenly Pop Hits, rockumentary about New Zealand's premiere indie label, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjUDemQFznA
Black Flag http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4uahL_tQWc&feature=related
Replacements http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINrFUCF8-g
REM first TV appearance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA57Pafq_NU

The Slow Education Lecture 2 'The Origin of Species'

Key Texts:
1. Happiness Is A Warm Gun- The Beatles, The White Album, 1968
2. I'm A Boy- The Who, single, 1966
3. Feedback- The Grateful Dead, Live, 1972
4. Thirteen- Big Star, #1 Record, 1972
5. Breadfan- Breadfan, Never Turn Your Back On A Friend, 1973
6. Sunshine Of Your Love (Cream cover)- Jimi Hendrix, BBC sessions, 1998
7. Effigy (Creedence Clearwater Revival cover)- Uncle Tupelo, Live Oddities, 1995

Recommended Reading:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAVhKjsImeI Creedence Live
http://www.matadorrecords.com/stephen_malkmus/video_interview.html
click on 'lodi' you at the bottom and you get CCR and malkmus!!! (he fucks it up though, also did you know malkmus went to school in lodi?!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6C_WSp3Lks Bob rocks out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmo9e7DzKlk Kurt C plays VU in Holland!

Review of Dyse at LVC 26/11/09

It is Sunday 29 Nov 2009. I need to write a review of a paper on tonality in various Bantu languages by Mr. Larry Hymen (great name, I know). Unfortunately the 11% beer with which Tom plied me last night has unsteadied my metaphorical pen. Perhaps writing a review of Dÿse (25 Nov 2009 at the LVC, Leiden) will unknot some of the strands in ol’ Duder’s head.

Although less inebriated than for the Vox Von Braun show, I was not sober for this gig. Thus, the same structural conventions are employed (see my last review for a comparison).

“Dÿse and beer”

Equipment: two crazy German guys (tautologous? – self Ed.). According to Lena, who can tell from the German accent on their English, they are from East Germany. They wear a uniform: white and black shirts. The colours are in two blocks, split vertically asunder. I have only seen the film Das Leben der Anderen once, but I’m pretty sure this makes them members of the Stasi. One plays the drums (big ride cymbals, both Zildjian), the other guitar (Fender Strat, a masshoose fuck-off stack).

Sound: It was really fucking loud. Anything loud created by a drummer/guitarist pair who are not Lighting Bolt inevitably sounds like Death From Above 1979. Their sound is better than DFA is two ways: 1) less shitty bass, 2) less Canad.

Songs: Angular, riff-laden, with a good use of the loud-heavy dynamic (an expression pedal was used to control volume). The drummer was solid: some great half-time beats. Rolls were sparsely but cleverly employed. Their encore was real slow and moody. Inescapably, some structures were very similar to those of DFA. Some great vocals – after the heavy section in the song ‘Treppe’, the lead singer panted like a dog for two minutes before launching into this monster riff. Singer’s voice is less whinny than the DFA singer. . I always thought DFA tried too hard to persuade girls to fuck them – they have lyrics like “Sexy woman meet me after work / I wanna show you how I handle business / I wanna show you how the mail-boy flirts”” (‘Sexy Results’). Dÿse don’t suffer the same malady – or at least I think they don’t – actually I don’t have a clue because all the lyrics were in fucking German.

Performance: As an obvious homage to Lightning Bolt, they played on the floor. For the majority of the time the drummer went mental. The guitarist lurched over his microphone for long periods. In the quiet sections of songs he mostly looked at the floor, deciding which of his multitude of foot-pedals to press. Lengthy and irrelevant anecdotes punctuated the intermission between songs. These were indicative of their endearing ‘Crazy-German’ characters. At the end of the performance they hugged each other for an excessively long time.

Overall: As I retired to the bar, my thoughts were thus:

“These guys must totally rock Germany. I mean, what else do they have? Fucking Seeed and Peter Fox. And the Hoff. I paid 5 euros to see this, and I actually don’t feel overly aggrieved.”

“Dÿse and coffee”

The aesthetic of their myspace makes me feel instantly nauseous (black and white stripes). Their songs still sound good, but without the excessive volume present at the gig, something is missing. I think it’s a bass guitar!! Their lyrics aren’t in German after all. I feel pretty embarrassed that I’m losing the ability to discern my native tongue. Fuck. They have a horn section in one of their songs. A bold move: especially considering that it sounds a bit shit.

I would, out of choice, listen to these guys. And unless you’re a total dickface, you should too.

3.75 wobblies.

J. E. Griffiths

B-Movie (set in '93)

We've uploaded better recorded versions of Hyperbowl's songs to their myspace. To celebrate this great day, here's 'B-Movie (set in '93)':

What we've been up to in November...

...well for a start we've been practising!

November began for the LRC with our first proper show in Leiden at Cafe De Tregter on November 6th (check out the poster below). As the poster says, the three LRC bands played - Hyperbowl, The Sex Pests and John Law and the Law Lords.


The night was concluded by a set from very smart looking LRC Covers Band. Thanks to everyone who came, we had a fun (and pretty exhausting) time. Check these guys out - looking good!


We also played at De Twee Spieghels last weekend on November 21st. That was a blast too. Check out the crowd!



Thanks to Wiebke for the photos. We did mostly covers that night, with a short Hyperbowl set. We've also bought a P.A, which is pretty rad.

The next LRC show is at Sub071, a squat venue on Schuttersveld by the train station. It's around the back of the graffitied building you can see from the station entrance. Hyperbowl are playing on Wednesday December 2nd in support of La Ira De Dios, a Peruvian band. Entrance is 4 euros. Just ring the door bell and you'll be let in. Here's the poster:


See y'later...

Listen up all you malnourished muzaks, Lord Round’s Gastro Blog will sort you out. I know it ain’t strictly music but a tingle on your tongue is a good way to complement an earful of vintage rack and roll. So get your pots and pans out, and if you ain’t bashin’ ‘em, whack a curry in ‘em.

http://www.lordround.blogspot.com/

LR

Vox Von Braun at Bar and Boos

Jimmy’s first gig review since “Biffy Clyro at the Plug, Sheffield, UK. 19 Feb 2006” for the ‘Steel Press’

I started that gig review with: “The Action was literally On Fire for Biffy Clyro last Sunday evening, where a small electrical blaze temporarily delayed what would inevitably be a typically whirlwind performance”. That’s cute – using one of the Band’s song-titles to open the review. I bet that made me feel smug all day.

Because I was pissed for the entirety of Vox Von Braun’s set, I will provide two reviews. The first is entitled “Vox Von Braun and beer” (at the Bar and Boos, 14 Nov 2009). The second is entitled “Vox Von Braun and coffee” (midday 18 Nov 2009, my apartment).

“Vox Von Braun and beer”

Equipment: two nice Fenders, both sun-kissed. I thought both were Jaguars. Ben told me one was a Jazzmaster and the other a Mustang (I think…). A nice amount of trebly gain and modulation from a Phaser. A girl bassist with nice hair.

Sound: I thought they covered a Cramps song, but upon questioning the singer, they didn’t. They played psychobilly stuff: a mix of blues, garage rock, rhythm and blues, punk rock, rockabilly and rock ‘n’ roll. Think The Cramps, The Meteors, The Damned’s slower output, The Trashmen, Dick Dale, etc. It was like Neil Young’s 1983 album ‘Everybody’s Rocking’, but with distortion.

Songs: A constant tempo, sound, discourse and inter-song structure. Very little variation. I told Ben I thought this was an advantage. I believed they were more into ‘mood’ than individual songs. We should, I implored, look at the bigger picture. This picture sounded cool. Cool like the song in that scene in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me where Donna gets her baps out.

Performance: For the most part, pretty static. Very little crowd interaction during songs. Some banter between songs, which was appreciated. My eye was drawn from the men in the band (one of which looks like Viggo Mortensen: which is irrelevant) by the female bassist, whose face I couldn’t see. However, she played bass really well, and she was a girl, and therefore worthy of adoration. As Tim says “sometimes girls can be good musicians too”. True that… true that.

Overall: As I retired to the bar, my thoughts were thus:

“VVB are one of the better bands I’ve seen in Leiden. They have a good sound, and they are tight. They are interested in their own music and not some emerging scene. They are a little taciturn, but that’s cool – they are letting the music speak for itself. Their bassist must have big hands and long fingers.”

“Vox Von Braun and coffee”

Someone has put some effort into their website. Looks prof. They are signed to an Indie Label, and have a debut album called “Something Ain't Wrong", which plays about with the relation of semantic scope between the quantifier and negative particle. It can be interpreted as “Something is Right” or “Everything is Right”. Both are boring statements for different reasons.

Their myspace songs are sludgier and slower than I remember. Still nice and noisy: some great guitar sounds on “Julia”. It drones too much though: dangerously close to Shoegaze: which I fucking hate. The songs are very basically structured. Singer is whack. The bass sounds good though. “When did you become so popular?” is their best track. I would probably play this whilst reading a paper on Long-Distance wh-movement in current syntactic theory. Why? Because both pretend to be more complicated than they actually are.

I still think the ‘Bowl could learn something from their sound though.

3 Wobbly Eggs.

J. E. Griffiths

A Slow Education: Lecture No. 1 ‘Overview’

This is our first broadcast.



Key Texts:
1. Slow Education- The Silver Jews, Bright Flight, 2001
2. I Will Dare- The Replacements, Let it Be, 1984
3. Big Dipper- Built to Spill, There’s Nothing Wrong with Love, 1994
4. Going to Acapulco- The Crust Brothers, Marquee Mark, 1998
(Live cover of Bob Dylan and the Band, Basement Tapes, 1975)
5. Beginning to See the Light- The Velvet Underground, Live at Max’s Kansas City, 1972
6. Revolution Blues- Neil Young, On the Beach, 1974
7. German Studies- The Breeders, Mountain Battles, 2008
8. Cornerstone- The Arctic Monkeys, Humbug, 2009

wow using the computer is a totally slow education

This blog will be used by the Leiden Rock Company to provide info about our bands.

inc. Hyperbowl, John Law and the Lawlords, The Sex Pests, Black Scarf, The Leiden Rock Company Classic and Modern Rock and Pop Covers Band and others

We will big up other bands inc. Rene SG, Holy Water, The Musical Chairs Collective, Vox von Braun, Junior Eats Alone, P.G. Lost, Korakoid, Bitch Picnic, The Eggplants, Hubert Cumberdale, The Deutschmarks f. k. a. Neon Claws, Lost Bear, The Raphaelites etc.

We will provide a radio show/podcast called ‘A Slow Education’ once a week for your consumption.

We will provide gig reviews.

There will be links and widgets and some RSS feeds apparently.

We will talk about nothing else other than music. What else is there anyway?

P.S.
The layout of the blog will soon be much cooler.